COLLEGE PARK – A terrifying scene reigned in downtown College Park last night, as Vito Riccio, 27, owner of Vito’s Pizza on Route One, reemerged from his mysterious recent absence in spectacular fashion – by burning Ratsie’s Pizza and Subs to the ground.
Riccio has not been seen in months, as his shop has remained boarded up for unspecified reasons. His reemergence last night was almost as shocking as the fashion in which he did it.
Reporters on scene documented a man in hysterical rage.
“NOW YOU KNOW WHAT VODKA SAUCE IS! EGYPTIAN SLOBS, HOW’S THIS FOR A NATIONAL REVOLT?” Vito was heard shouting while dousing the establishment in gasoline and, interestingly, his restaurant’s signature vodka sauce.
“NO – MORE – PRANK – CALLS! WHO’S GOING OUT OF BUSINESS NOW?” he screamed as he set Ratsie’s ablaze. The shop, mercifully empty, was entirely engulfed within minutes. Riccio was laughing maniacally.
“A REAL FIRE BY A REAL ITALIAN,” he screamed into the night.
Nearby pedestrians were unable to prevent Riccio from proceeding with the burning. They were stopped by “Steve-O,” a former manager at Vito’s, who students say is also Riccio’s close friend.
“Here’s my face,” he yelled at the crowd. “All you internet trash-talkers, here it is. Anyone who wants to get to Vito, you have to go through me. You should see how I’ve scared people on the internet.”
University of Maryland Police spokesman Marc Limansky says the UMPD has already had a warrant on Riccio for some time.
“We’ll get to the arson. Right now we’re following up on a reports of underage students drinking in that bar last year. The law doesn’t take a day off.”
For now, downtown College Park is out of pizza.
Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro contributed to this report.
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