Yes, I understand that Warner Brother’s Green Lantern was released over a month ago. Yes, I understand that the movie has been established as grade A Hollywood dog shit. However, put yourself in my shoes for three fucking seconds. Do you really expect me to shell out ten dollars just to review a movie that had its pitiful destiny revealed within the first ten seconds of the teaser trailer? I would prefer to deal with the consequences of pirating this abomination than to ever allow a Green Lantern movie ticket to touch my fingertips. So that is exactly what I did. Manhola Dargis, Wesley Morris, and Peter Travers had their fun insulting this movie; now it’s my turn.