Category Archives: Uncategorized

Germans Protest Removal of Hitler Statue in Berlin

BERLIN – Protests descended on the Tiergarten Park yesterday after the long-awaited decision to remove a statue of Adolf Hitler from the park’s center in downtown Berlin.

“It’s our German heritage!” screamed Kurtholm Frederschmidt, a window sealer from Blankenberg. “This is our German identity. The statue has nothing to do with racism or anti-semitism!”

Property of the Thirsty Turtle Times, lol

Berlin Protester’s Official Meme

The Berlin City Council decided to remove the statue after a long and contentious debate, releasing a statement saying it was “time for Germany to move on and heal.”

“I kind of thought we should have actually debated putting it up,” said City Councilwoman Anna Müller.

Definitely Pro-Hitler protesters in Tiergarten Park Wednesday.

The statue was erected in 1939 in Nazi Germany, and was only quietly grumbled about by young Germans who didn’t want to offend the nation’s Nazi heritage and the brave soldiers who fought for a global fascistic Jew-free Nazi world conquest.

“I know it’s tough to hear, but I really wonder if Hitler should still be honored in Berlin,” Müller added gravely.

Protest organizers considered the statue removal a stain on German pride.

“We need to recognize the people that helped us foment our identity,” said Tavin Bregolle, the organizer of the protest.

Asked about Hitler’s starting of World War II, his fascist conquest of Europe, and the murder of 11 million Jews, gypsies, Eastern Europeans, homosexuals and other groups in the Holocaust, Bregolle responded, “That is exactly why we must keep the statue.  Are we going to censor history now? This is un-German.”

Statue of Hitler in Tiergarten, this is definitely real.

Many Germans fear that the removal of the statue is a form of speech suppression, even though Nazi symbolism has been illegal in Germany since 1945.

“Take down that statue, and everyone will forget about Hitler tomorrow, guaranteed,” insisted Bregolle.

The City Council insists that Nazi Germany is being “scrubbed from scrapbooks, not history books.” But protestors disagree.

“Who’s next, Jesus on the cross?” asked Frederschmidt.

Sean Hannity contributed to this report.  He can be reached at thirstyturtletimes@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @thirstytimes, like us on Facebook.

Trump Supporters Sick of Being Insulted By Mean Liberal Snowflakes

WASHINGTON – Every-day supporters of President Trump have grown increasingly agitated by left-wing snowflakes teasing and insulting them. Additionally, they feel quite offended by “hate-marches” designed to hurt the president.

Trump supporters are sick of being “hated” by liberal snowflakes.

“He’s a sensitive man,” said former Speaker-of-the-House and adamant Trump supporter Newt Gingrich on Fox News Sunday. “They should be more fair to him, and to us.”

A small number of the mostly white, working-class, male supporters came out to Washington to counter-protest against left-wing protesters on Pennsylvania Avenue this weekend. And they were very upset.

“They keep screaming and hollering at us!” said Cliff Moyer, a bricklayer from a rural Virginia county, looking highly disgruntled, as the dueling marches chanted at each other. “I’m sick of it! Damn snowflakes!” he added.

“Yeah!” echoed his friend, Brian DeSantis, a fireman in the same county. “It’s… it’s only driving the Trump Train faster!” he insisted.

Left-wing protesters this weekend.

Left-wing protesters chanted loudly. “Donald Trump, shame on you, refugees are people too!”

“They get offended so easily!” raved Mr. Moyer.

“Hey Hey! Ho! Ho! That racist has got to go!”

“HE’S NOT RACIST!” screamed Mr. Moyer. “They’re so intolerant!”

Some suggest a good deal of Trump’s base support is driven by antagonized social conservatives who feel silenced by progressive activists. Eager to curtail ‘hate-speech,’ the left-wing is, according to Trump’s supporters, employing “hate-marching.”

“There’s peaceful demonstration, which we all have a right to, and then there’s ‘hate-marching,’ which they are doing. It should be illegal!” stammered Mr. DeSantis.

“No cops, no KKK, no fascist USA!” the protesters chanted, outnumbering the small, agitated group of Trump supporters.

“No!” screamed Mr. Moyer. “It’s not FAIR! They’re NOT FAIR to my Trumpy! SNOWFLAKES!”

“They’d better stop this hate-marching. So help me God,” said Mr. DeSantis, shaking with rage, tearing up. The protesters continued chanting, the sounds reverberating off the buildings and echoing throughout the city.

“Impeachment is coming soon, Putin, Trump, get a room!”

“THAT’S IT!” Mr. DeSantis then screamed, before running over to the nearby Gonzaga College High School and demanding he be allowed to cast a ballot for Trump.

Property of the Sun

Trump supporters are sick of having their feelings hurt.

“Rigged!” he screamed, running out in tears, when he was denied by the school secretary, Mrs. Peggy Rourdman, as there was no election in which to vote.

“What a snowflake,” she added.

Greg “Snowflake” Gianforte contributed to this report.  He can be reached at thirstyturtletimes@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @thirstytimes