Something Strange is Happening with the UMPD

Ok, something is amiss here. Last year, the State of Maryland gave the University of Maryland Police Department a $30,000 grant, with the publicized intent of using that money to combat underage drinking. The UMPD then did something nobody expected – they RETURNED THE MONEY. Most of it, anyway. Marc … Continue reading

UMPD Does Something Right

The University of Maryland Police Department has been lauded for finally doing something right. Last Sunday, the UMPD arrested a student for threatening a shooting rampage on campus.  The shooting was allegedly planned for this past Monday, but the UMPD uncharacteristically foiled the plot the night before it was to … Continue reading

Wallace Loh’s Halloween Costume Causes Mayhem

It was termed “A Halloween gone terribly wrong” by University of Maryland Police Chief David Mitchell.  It was certainly a story worth telling. “I would call it irrational exuberance,” said University President Wallace Loh. On Halloween night, Loh decided to adorn the costume he thought was scarier than any other … Continue reading

Tornado Devastates UMPD Captain’s Imagination

COLLEGE PARK – The damage told the story. In a city still reeling from the revelation of a dead hippo lodged in the floorboards of a local bar, officials were mortified when a massive tornado ripped through University of Maryland Police Captain Marc Limansky’s imagination, causing untold damage and leaving … Continue reading