UMD Ravens Fans Can’t Decide Between Successful Futures, Violent Rioting

COLLEGE PARK – Sunday night was a night torn for many University of Maryland Ravens fans. They were conflicted, simply unable to decide between inducing mayhem to celebrate their team’s Super Bowl victory, or having a clean record and a chance for a successful future. “Hardest decision of my life!” … Continue reading

Vito Riccio Burns Ratsie’s Pizza to the Ground

COLLEGE PARK – A terrifying scene reigned in downtown College Park last night, as Vito Riccio, 27, owner of Vito’s Pizza on Route One, reemerged from his mysterious recent absence in spectacular fashion – by burning Ratsie’s Pizza and Subs to the ground. Riccio has not been seen in months, … Continue reading

UMD Updates Official Title

The University of Maryland, College Park, as it was formerly known, broke new ground today by changing its officially recognized title.  After facing criticism for its inconcise and indecisive nature on its name and branding, Maryland’s flagship institution has retermed itself as “the University of Maryland, College Park, inside the … Continue reading