The Terrapin League: The Battle of McKeldin

Part I: Editor’s note: For this column, all proceeding text in italics/bold must be read in a Ted Knight superhero narrator voice.  If you are unsure what that is, listen to the opening narration in this video. Last week (year), campus troubles became a national crisis! President Wallace Loh possesses a computer … Continue reading

Adventures of the Terrapin Boys: Rise of Dr. Loh

Editor’s note: For this column, all proceeding text in italics/bold must be read in a Ted Knight superhero narrator voice. If you are unsure what that is, listen to the opening narration in this video. Starting here: Last month, we saw the government take action after a University of Iowa … Continue reading

McKeldin Library Evacuated After Beer Threats

COLLEGE PARK – A strange scene unfolded on campus last Wednesday, when an apparent beer threat led to a full evacuation of McKeldin Library.  The incident began when a student made an unusual comment to the front desk, which the Thirsty Turtle Times can now exclusively confirm was alluding to … Continue reading