You May Have Noticed That You’ve Noticed Nothing

Hello chaps,

We at the Thirsty Turtle Times would like to apologize for our long delay in producing the awesomeness you expect from us. Clearly we are strained at the moment, as our Editor-in-Chief is spending a semester abroad. Evidently, he felt that mounting and/or Tebowing every monument in Europe was more important than his sworn duties as chief.

Unfortunately we do not possess the cash, power or political capital to overthrow him. We may not need to, however. He has informed us that he has observed “promising signs of a Blastoise in my travels, and I will return only upon the back of the almighty beast, christened in the Notre Dame de Paris as Blastudo.”

Any day now.

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The Thirsty Turtle Times is looking for writers to help fill the void until our EIC catches Blastudo. To apply, email us at thirstyturtletimes@gmail.com.

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