The O’Doul’s Diary: Diluted Debauchery

Have you ever listened to someone describe a night of heavy drinking to you? The story usually starts off sensibly: your friend describes his day, the time, the occasion, and so on. He’ll go on to describe the type of beverage that was consumed, the people that were there, maybe … Continue reading

Rise of the Planet of the Cinematically Challenged: How the fuck did this pull in $167 Million?

So I was driving the other day when I was caught behind a rusty Saab with spinning rims.  Despite how hilariously disgusting it was, I wasn’t laughing at this Saab, as the driver believed cruising at a steady 10mph on 30mph road was somehow appropriate.  I attempted to pass the … Continue reading

Burnt Out Lantern: Another Pathetic Attempt at Revamping Comic Book Superheroes

Yes, I understand that Warner Brother’s Green Lantern was released over a month ago. Yes, I understand that the movie has been established as grade A Hollywood dog shit. However, put yourself in my shoes for three fucking seconds. Do you really expect me to shell out ten dollars just … Continue reading